65. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Being single is much better than being married. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok 2. No, I'm Finnish. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. The hottest single of the year is me. And it's time for me to make my escape. No? Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Im jealous of people who dont know you. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. I cant really complain, but I will still try. (perfect for vegans). Dont wake me up yet. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. 88. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. 17. 1. 2. The government? Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? How do you usually respond to the question? #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Maybe you can Google it. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. 30. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Average, I think, that sounds about right. You may join me, though. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! I suggest you do a little soul searching. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. A real low-life. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. You're the reason God created the middle finger. The police? 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. Privacy Policy. I'm afraid I can't do that. Sorry, life. 55. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. Going strong. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". I'm happy! I have a gold watch that belonged to him. 2. *Siri activates front camera*. Could be payday. *sips wine/tea*. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Keep talking. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. The music billboard charts got it wrong! You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Brilliant! To text, most of us need our thumbs. 4. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. At minding my own business? original sound - Tyren Sams. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. 101. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. 8. 17. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. 24. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. You were a young man when you last spoke. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. I agree, thanks for sharing. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. 85. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? It's quite the accomplishment. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Socioeconomically? 2. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. I just adore my own company. 37. I like being single. Better inside than outside. Maybe their roommate was sick. Just look what happened there! response, because I need clarity in my interactions. 4. Boom. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Hello, how are you? Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" 3. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. No, keep talking. Unlikely, but worth a shot. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. 61. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Thats because Im still waiting for you. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Getting better with every passing second. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. I think I am doing alright. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. . Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. [*clap your hands*]. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. 3. (Say it like he or. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 71. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. I'm loved! Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Thats why Im rooting for your penis. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Nice outfit. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Physically? Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Image: wikimedia commons 6. Congrats, guys! How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" 86. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? 93. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. 13. "You know I can do this anytime.". This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. Dont get caught with nothing to say. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. Scroll down! Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. | Are you surviving? Im sorry. "Alright. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Im single by choice. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. You speak as if youre not single yourself! In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Are you going to help me have a good day? 13. Are you serious? (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. 6. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. 98. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Youre a ground-hugger. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. 97. Hanging by a thread. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Read more about Martin here. I havent met the right one yet. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. 2. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 78. How do you want me to be? - Anonymous. 11. My grandfather had a ton of these. Your secrets are always safe with me. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. 1. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. 63. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? This does not seem right. I am not sure what you mean. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. 2. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) 1. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. 77. Oh, well 8. . " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Have you been thinking? I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." 40. but it's just so blunt and funny. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. 6. I repeat I am plural! But half the time, it is a nightmare. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Youre free to go. Living an amazing dream. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. Alive Jokes. This is a good response to throw out there. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. I really thought you already knew. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. 90. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Your email address will not be published. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. "Still alive" is polite. You look tired. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. 3. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. The answer is simple. I always yawn when Im interested. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. No, waitIm actually plural. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Heart-shattering. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 1. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. 32. However, I dont recall anything about morons. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. a fate worse than death." You just live. Because your ass is out of this world! Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Siri, why am I still single? 11. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Oh, stop it, will you? I'm used to it, anyway. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. Mentally? I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. and our Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? Well, are you? 7. Share the best GIFs now >>> You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. 51. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. You have an old soul. 14. 29. 68. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. 74. Do you have a minute? Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. Want to equip yourself with more responses? 58. Canva. Some people spend all their time on their phone. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! 96. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. I always root for the little guy. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Yup, I dont share it. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? What do you say when people ask you that? Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier.
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funny response to are you still alive